We as a society tend to glorify this idea of being able to “bounce back” from adversity as an ideal that can make us feel like a failure when we inevitably bounce any other direction. It has a positive connotation, but further perpetuates an obsession with a past version of ourselves to be the blueprint for who we should strive to be or look like. I’ve learned that if you focus on pursuing the past rather than cultivating the future, you’ll be chasing your tail for the rest of your life. And anything that you chase with such desperation runs away.
Post-Op Clarity
I am someone who has lived what feels like many different lives in the span of 20 years. However, one thing I am very privileged to say is that to a certain point I had never felt the force of putting an important part of my life on hold.
From recovering after a life-altering eating disorder, to competing in a bodybuilding show, to then moving away to a university I was truly hesitant to attend (more on this later, I am happy to say attending has been one of the greatest decisions of my life); it almost felt seamless, this “all gas, no breaks” mentality.
Fast-forward a bit, I’m laying on an operating table to repair a torn and dented labrum with a 6 month recovery in the midst of a two year off season. It’s safe to say being on stage in a shiny bikini was not on the highest list of priorities. I was fatigued from the disruption of my injury and dealing with hormonal and metabolic issues despite half-heartedly checking off the boxes. I felt lost and even contemplated leaving the sport that saved my life.
If there is anything that bodybuilding has taught me, it is to never attach too closely to certain parts of yourself. In the sport context, things like the way your body once responded to a certain protocol or how shredded you’ve been at a certain scale weight. In the context of life, it allows you to shift your focus onto who you can and will be, rather than who you’ve been.
Making The Most of The Transition Period
I didn’t get my mojo back, I reinvented it. It was official: four weeks of being in a sling and essentially living like an infant again- eat, sleep, poop. So you better believe my disciplined background led me to become the best I could be at those activities. I took a step outside of myself to look at the holes in my prior routine, identity, and habits to refine them and ultimately be better on the other side. The grass really is greener where you water it.
I continued to eat my instructed meal plan, hit a step goal, and committed to low screen time. I watered meaningful relationships and embarked on the pursuit of improving my relationship with myself. I curated my consumption, and it was in this time that I realized I should start this blog in the first place. There you have it, curated consumption lights the fire for personal creation.
BELIEVE ME, I know it is all easier said than done. Whenever someone would tell me I had a surprisingly positive attitude about this setback, I would joke that I had already gone through the five stages of grief and was finally at acceptance.
Not Back to Normal, New Normal
You could say I’m still in a transition period. I’m in physical therapy, only training legs, but feel incredibly lucky to move my body in the first place. Where I could have felt like this was “putting my life on hold”, I see this time as an incredibly transformative and necessary period. Here are a few things I recommend to you, sweet friend when you feel like “it’s so over” in the face of adversity:
- Surround yourself with love and support. This can be people, hobbies, self reflection and journaling.
- Take a pause and instead of worrying what you could have been doing, plan and act toward what you can do
- If you’re in a situation like me where you are required to be physically sedentary, take time to do those things you’ve always wanted to do, but didn’t have time.
- Remember what a gift it is to be able to work on self improvement, take action towards learning more about self validation/true confidence and other topics that interest you.
In the wise words that my bodybuilding coach used during my bargaining stage of grief (I’m a drama queen, can you tell): “The only way to find yourself is to be lost for a little”-Mike White. Whether we realize it or not, the way we mentally approach our circumstances is highly influential on our outcomes. My healing process has been exceptional. I truly believe that pairing physical recovery with a growth mindset can manifest such success.
xoxo, Isa <3
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